TOM WAITS (FOR NO ONE)

Because you suck. The space in my record collection you used to hog has been put on eBay, now where douche bags the world over can bid on you. If people look to you for inspiration they are not looking very hard. Hey tom, its not your fault. You used to lay around the apartment with Hans Olsen and Bob Crane's former hookers. Zappa called and thats the last we ever heard of you (and the first for everybody else).

You, Tom Waits are to Captian Beefheart what Coldplay is to Radiohead. You should put out a box set and call it Beat Poetry for Dummies. Do the estates of Keroac and Bukowski get and royalties from you? Speaking of beat poets, did 'ya ever dive deep enough into that beat anthology to read any Kenneth Patchen?

Or did you ever hear that Blue Oyster Cult song called "Joan Crawford"? Well, someone ought to write a song like that about you, where zombie beatniks rise from the grave and beat the shit out of until you scream like another trademark Tom Waits song. I hope Bette Milder helps them (even though she's technically neither a zombie or a beatnik) just for ripping off her jokey live album banter. What- where you double-booked at the same bath house?

Never mind Carlos Mencia, here's you. Please stop it Tom, you're gonna hurt your throat.

THAT ONE

suck it purists

the new math

PEANUTS

GRADES

m	mint	brand new condition with no surface marks or deterioration in sound quality	cover and any extra items such as the lyric sheet, booklet or poster are in perfect condition
m-	mint-	new condition with almost no surface marks or deterioration in sound quality	cover almost perfect
ex++	excellent++	having been played only two or three times, no surface noise	almost no signs of any wear orcreasing
ex+	excellent+	some minimal signs of having been played, almost no surface noise	minimal traces of wear
ex	excellent	plays excellent, very little lessening in sound quality	cover might have slight wear and/or creasing
vg++	very good++	has been played, but no deterioration in sound quality, hairlines	little wear on the cover, without any defects
vg+	very good+	has been played few times, no major deterioration in sound quality, despite noticeable surface marks	normal wear, discolorisation possible, only minimal defects
vg	very good	has been played many times, but displays no major deterioration in sound quality, despite noticeable surface marks and light scratches	normal wear and tear,discolorisation, without any major defects

talkin' bear mountian picnic

Bob Dylan

      G                C
Well I saw it advertised one day that the
D
Bear Mountain Picnic was coming my way,
G              C
Come along and take a trip
  D
we'll bring you up there on a ship
      C                C                   D
bring the wife and family bring the whole kids
- yippee!

Well I ran right down and bought a ticket to this thing called
the Bear Mountain Picnic
Little did I realise I was in for a pleasant funny surprise -
It had nothing to do with picnics, didn't come close to a mountain
and I hate bears.

Took the wife and kids down to the pier, there was 6000 people

there and everybody had a ticket for the trip, I said "oh well

it's a pretty big ship". Besides anyway the more the merrier!

Well we all got on and what do you think, that big old boat started
to sink. More people kept piling on and that old ship was going down -
funny way to start a picnic.

Well soon I lost track of my kids and my wife - so many people I never
saw in my life, that old ship started sinking down in the water
and those 6000 people were trying to kill each other. Dogs barking,
cats a-screaming, women a-yelling, men a-flying, fists a-flying,
paper flying, cops a-comiing, me a-running - I think we'd better just
call off the picnic.

I got shoved down and got pushed around all I remember was a moaning sound
Don't remember one thing more all I remember is waking up on the shore.
My arms and legs were broken, my feet were splintered, my head was cracked,
I couldn't walk, I couldn't talk, smell, feel, I couldn't see,
I didn't know where  I was, I was bald, quite lucky to be alive though.

Well feeling lucky I climbed out of my casket, I just grabbed back hold
of my picnic basket, took the wife and kids and started home wishing I'd
never got up that morning.

Now I don't care just what you do, if you want to have a picnic thats
up to you, just don't tell me about it I don't want to hear it, you see
I just lost all of my picnic spirit.

I'll stay in my kitchen.
Have a picnic in my bathroom.

Well it don't seem to me quite so funny what some people are gonna
do for money, there's a brand new gimmick every day, just to take
someones money away.

I think we oughta take some of these people, put 'em on a boat,
send 'em up to bear mountain for a picnic.

Not yet 40, my beard is already white

Not yet 40, my beard is already white

Not yet 40, my beard is already white. Not yet awake, my eyes are puffy and red, like a child who has cried too much. What is more disagreeable than last night's wine? I'll shave. I'll stick my head in the cold spring and look around at the pebbles. Maybe I can eat a can of peaches. Then I can finish the rest of the wine, write poems 'til I'm drunk again, and when the afternoon breeze comes up I'll sleep until I see the moon and the dark trees and the nibbling deer and hear the quarreling coons Lew Welch